I keep reminding myself that if the life that I want is so radically different than the life that I am now living, I will have to do something to spark its genesis. Except I don't have any money other than what I earn myself, on the wheel, and my time is not dedicated primarily to leisure. So I suppose I could learn to love the one I have. There's something so beautiful and human about not just embracing flaws, and imperfections, but seeing them as a source of wisdom and pleasure. I think often of the teacup with the fissure repaired with gold, and wabi-sabi. Earlier today I examined a nasty burn on my wrist from February, from sliding a roasting pan into the oven, where the hot rack seared me. At first, I wished I could fill it in with gold. Then I remembered the beautiful meal, and the beautiful night, among friends, and I realize that I did.